Exist

I was made to rise this hour within purpose of Your Will. And this moment am I not feeling any of the pains of living, the sorrows that are said to be of the common state of existence, I have moved away from them to receive something much greater of You. I am brought to see in clarity that those things are sorrows because they are made to be misunderstood, and are only made clear by Your touch of understanding.

I am only what You have created of me and not of what has been trying to succumb me and shape me, during the course of living to try to speak the lie into my sub-consciousness and into my consciousness that this is a normal and common function of who I am. You have opened my mind and heart to see that this state of living in which is called commonality is but a lie to blind me to what is truly the fruit of living.

I have no fear because You never created me with the seed of fear or the need of fear. I love you too much to fear You. There is no need to fear You. I have no sorrows truly other than the sorrows of which we have created for one another, in causing our state of living a complex one in affect to cause us world conflict, in causing the destruction of human relationship of the gift and beauty of humanity. I take humanity and its condition upon myself as a responsible human being in knowing that this was never so for me and therefore for us as a whole. I no longer hold on to the lie that these things are of the living, but of only the cause of the death of the world, in giving birth to the lifestyle of the beast who have ruled our minds and hearts since we have been told what is right and wrong. I release both “right and wrong” in concept and will only be inspired of You. I simply exist. We have chosen flawfully in our living do to a structured society called civilization that is truly uncivil.

I ask for nothing because I made this mess I am seeing and feeling, and so I bow my heart and mind in humility and responsibility and pray to You. But, I am still able to feel conflict. Why? So, I must release more. I must die more without effort, because even effort is internal conflict and truly the holding on to what is said to be harmful. It is the un-assurance/fear of the sacred. I must release the unconscious state of control that I assume that I no longer hold and yet, that too is understood in act, as effort in feeling. Speak to me Divine within feeling:(

I pray without fear, I pray without want, I pray without anger, I pray without need, I pray without anger, I pray without hurt, I pray without strife, I pray asking no questions.... for I only be still without conflict, and allow my “self” to die and to be taken all the way back to the beginning of my very “being” of before I was spoken into the womb of the mother, of when only You knew me in conception and in knowing me and my divine purpose even in being a man. I even die to what I understand of humility, because I am still able to feel the conflict in trying to remain there based upon the affects of the meaning of the definition of humility. I die to even that and leave me with only loving You as I am purposed to do.

I only know that I love You. I only know that I have been created of You and by Your knowing that purpose of existing is for the rectification of what has the state of humanity in confusion and darkness. I need nothing, I am nothing and I have no wants, truly because You have truly given me all that is required. I have been made to see this. I love life outside of what this constructed living has been made to offer me for my own internal demise; therefore, I love living even though I have not conformed to many of the abominations that have enslaved the plight of living, that is asserted to be pleasurable. I live and I am existing. I remove myself from the knowledge of my name in title, my gender and my status in this world and just give my being to loving, living. I exist.

I love to simply exist is one with loving That Which has Created my living. You spoke of me “Be” and I was made a “Being/Alive” a living state of “Life Consciousness” and then became/time within my mother's womb a living human being. And what is my living? My living is of Your giving me purpose of existing:) So, I pray in loving to exist. I pray without thinking of the past in what happened, what could have been, no regrets and no hurt. I pray in not hoping of what a said future beholds because of understanding that, the future is only an idea based upon knowledge of the past and of wanting; I want nothing. I need nothing other than what Your purpose for me says.

I am just being still and being lead inside and brought before what is beautiful and that is an existence that only You created as me as I truly am, and I re-choose that:) I exist:) I love you for existence:) I exist and I understand that to simply be thankful, grateful of existence is alone peace of mind and spirit. I exist.

David Anthony Brayboy