Good Bye David Stephenson
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So many of us grew up right besides you who knew when we saw you coming or even when we were on our way to your home to see you; we knew that we would be laughing that day regardless of what happened the day or night before if it was challenging:) Your presence in our lives was and still is a wonderful impact that always causes all of us to say, "I remember when he said thus and so and I was crakin up!)"
Will you be missed? Yes. We will not be able to call you on the phone any longer to get more of your gift to us of laughter; but, the impact will forever be felt inside of all of us:) You will still be making us laugh and to understand that in spite of the challenges in this life, laughter will always speak a simple and yet profound wisdom to us to help remind all of us, that life is still good enough to smile. You helped us to know this:)
The Creator placed you in all of our lives as well as your children as a gift, a manifested joyful noise that made us feel good:) You never lost your innocence as a child:) You kept us laughing:) I thought of you this night and wanted to say thank you for making me laugh:) Thank you for your life example and thank you for continuing calling me after almost 35 years..."BOOTY HEAD MUG!"
I will forever love you and honor you:)
Thank you:)
David Anthony Brayboy
Hey, man. Great remembrance of my little brother. He and I laughed so hard together and that is one of the things I remember most about him. Until I had kids of my own, Dave was my closet family member.
ReplyDeleteDave had not spoken to me for three years before he died. He was estranged from the family because of the conflict between him and our older brother. The family did not take sides in their fight; so, Dave felt the family (me especially) was not on his side. He could not have been more mistaken but he stopped speaking to us...to me.
Three weeks before he died, I had a dream that Dave died. In the dream he was laying in his casket and no one else was around. i started yelling at him, angry because he had cut me out of his life and then died without us ever talking things out. I woke up crying. A couple of days later, my son (named after Dave) and I came to Chicago for a Bears game. I tried to reach Dave to see if he wanted to go to dinner and rap. I got no response. When I got to Chicago, I told my mom about the dream. She said "Thank God it was only a dream" and "I think Dave is starting to come around." She meant she believed he was starting to get passed his anger at the family.
Two weeks later he was in the hospital recovering from the heart surgery. I came to town and visited him in the hospital. He was unconscious and the doctors told us about possible (likely) brain damage and partial paralysis on one side of his body. Then his kidneys started to fail and we had them prep him for dialysis. During that prep, they discovered clots all over the place. They asked my brother and me what course we wanted them to pursue. Dedaling with the clots would thin his blood and might cause him to bleed out from the heart surgery site. Doing nothing would result in a clot killing him. We asked them to deal with the clots but to check the extent of the brain damage first. They came back and told us he was gone, his brain functioning was gone.
ReplyDeleteDave was unresponsive to anyone and anything that weekend. On Sunday afternoon, I talked to him and told him I had to go back to Minnesota for a day and would come back back asap. I asked him to hold on for me until got back. I kissed him, told him I loved him and said I'd see him in two days. His head turned toward me and his eyes fluttered open and then closed. it was the only time we saw him move that whole weekend. My girlfriend saw that and asked me if i saw it. I did. She said she believed that was a sign from Dave.
I came back that Tuesday evening. My older brother told me that Dave was moved to a private hospice room and would probably not make it through the night.
ReplyDeleteSo, I spent the night in the room with him and talked to him all night about what he'd missed with my son and daughters during the previous three years. He was burning up with fever. So, I kep putting a cool wash cloth on his forehead and running it through his hair to keep him cool. I did that all nigh while I talked to him about all the shit we would have talked about and laughed about during his last three years.
The next afternoon, the family was gathered in his room when his breathing drastically changed. My older brother called me into the room. I walked in and Dave was not breathing. I thought, "Fuck! I wanted to be here when he left us." And then he took a big slow breath. I walked over and talked to him. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him a bunch of times. His breathing got slower and I put my hand on his heart. I could feel it getting faint and slowing down. My older brother was checking his pulse and could feel it slowing and getting weaker. I kept my hand on his heart and he took one more breath. As he did that, his head turned toward, his eyes opened and then closed. Then his heart stopped beating.
Dave's passing has left a permanent hole in my heart. It will never go away. I'm six years older and as kids I got him into everything I was into, horror movies, comic books, racing cars, electric football. I took him to the drive-in to see horror movies and we would just die laughing at them. He was too young to see those movies but I took him anyway.
ReplyDeleteDave once posted on Facebook "If they don't appreciate your presence, let them appreciate your absence." I miss him. We all miss him.
Take care of yourself, man. I'm Dave's brother Tommy from Minnesota.
If you are ever interested, I'll tell about two dreams I had about Dave AFTER he died.
ReplyDeleteTommy
I'm sorry for the late reply. I would like to know of your dreams. I will write more on this. I have more to say. Your words had explained some things that I had noticed. Please continue when you have time.
ReplyDelete