I Melt Away Before Your Eyes

“I know that you are telling the truth about me.” “I know that you are right about the allegations you bring up even though I will forever tell you that you are lying.” “I hate the fact that you are right about these things and that is why I hate you so immensely from the dept of my soul.” “I still will not adhered to your allegations because they are true even though I deny them to myself and everyone else.” “I continue to do what you have thought I was doing in order to hurt you and yet I still deny to you and everyone else that I am doing these things.” “I tell myself that I am not this promiscuous soul that everyone is beginning to see that I actually am after so many years of being a fictitious human being without real substance for my aspirations.” “I will continue to deny what I know I truly am in my activity every night from the early evening unto the late of the night.”

“No matter of how much I can see and feel you are right while I am within the activity of being this revolting presence upon the earth and within my own mind, I still continue what I am doing because it feels good to have the attention I as was rejected and abandoned as a child despite if these men only want me for a cheap and raunchy sexual climax and afterwards they tell me to leave again towards my valley of where you rest in mind knowing, I venture home to a place of where there is no one but myself to accompany my mind of my own putrefied living and face in the mirror of my own soul of how very vomitous I am as a human being who is in fact no longer living.” “Each time I face the reality which I continue to deny as factual, I come to hate you even more-so because I know you are telling the truth and I despise your very presence because your presence is that which it took for you to see of how very transparent my life is.”

“My outwards beauty is melting away as I was before an awe-inspiring, amazingly beautiful manifestation, while what is transpiring outside of me, is only an indication of what has happening inside” “I have been hurt by one who refused to be what I wanted him to be and so I stand to inflict upon you what I failed to have the courageousness to do towards him.” “I am a wounded soul and my heart and mind is melting and I am becoming of death and a destructive statue of loneliness, bitterness and insanity as I strike out against you for reasons which you never provoked as I try to force you to feel provoked so that I may manipulate a reaction out of you that I may tell the world, “you see; I told you it was him.”

“Each night I venture into the dark mist of the southern abyss, I hate you for what I am doing even though I am using my own body to perform it.” “I only get the pleasure of hoping that you are still hurting in wondering of what I am doing out here, even though you are correct in my consistent activity in which is in opposition of who I tell the entire world that I am.” “I always knew that you were serious of this journey despite of my possessing ulterior motives which I kept in the dark to all of my community members in the light of your pure dedication and love for me which I hate.” “I find myself feeling disgusted in your presence because I must be around you and fight against what I truly am, what I am not in fact as that predicament causes me to feel as if I am within a prison of morality and decency which I deplore.”

“I am from another land and culture which is said to hate this western world, as I have become more western than the common westerner who have colonized my homeland for the past almost 100 years as I am knowing I am no longer intertwined with my people and culture based upon the fundamental principals of what my ancestors created to honor my further existence.” “I am separately and willingly upon the path of self-destruction in my actions towards intellectual and spiritual desolation and death and I have no compassion for my inhumane treatment towards you, and therefore my own soul.” “I offer to melt away my own perfections in my actions in these night streets in choosing to execute my own conscious imperfections, as this is but the fault of your own for trying to love me as you did, even though I find joy in this mess.” “As I dissolve before your very eyes, there is no without question that I am dying before your eyes in ways unseen by others, but very much perceived by you.” “Leave me be and I do not wish you well in your travels.” “I hope that you fail in your efforts in life,” and I am hoping that you never find and fulfill the love which you foolishly thought you would accomplish with me, this wicked and callus soul.”

“I will continue to do what I do and melt away, until there is no more me as I was, or even as I am.” "I dissolve....I dissolve by the burning for the flesh and the death of the mind and soul.

David Anthony Brayboy